pyromaniac

Trip to Ekveera, Karla Caves and Tikona Fort

2010-08-13T12:13:00.000-07:00

8th Aug 2010

‘Peellaan (plan) ke mutabik’

– these words from Bhalla were enough for Teja’s face to go red with anger in Andaz Apna Apna. But!! We planned, planned and planned more for 3 weeks to go to Ekveera and Tikona Fort. This was supposed to be our 2nd trek after the mighty Harishchandragad near Malshej Ghat which had set my adrenaline pumping.

The initial plan was to stay overnight at Karjat at a friends place and then leave in the morning. Initially it was to be a group of 8 guys from Dombivali and 6 of us from office. We surfed the net, collected all the info, got excited by the amazing photos taken of these places, almost got inside google maps and could see ourselves gliding down the orange strip between Thane and Kamshet on google maps – what would we have done without the internet???? (A special thanks to Amit Kulkarni – we loved your pictures of Tikona and that partially inspired us to take the trek). Though, as happens usually, the usual people at the usual time in the most unusual way thought that they usually had better things to do and as usual they dropped off!! Long story short – after all the subtractions and divisions, Nagesh, Srinath (Chubby Cheeks), Kaushal (Major) and me were the last guys standing!!

Chubby stayed at my place on Saturday as he had come all packed up on Saturday. The overnight stay at Karjat had got cancelled. All four of us were to get together (Major from Matunga, Nagesh from Dombivali) at Thane and leave at 6:00 am sharp. The most eventful event happened at the very beginning of the trek. The moment I started my bike and asked Chubby to sit – TTTRRRRRRRRR – the cloth on his pants failed to expand as per the instructions of his expanding thighs and bum and gave way – ‘Shit! Majhi pant fatli’. I was worried he would want to change his pants as we were already getting late, but that didn’t happen and we met the others at Cadbury’s naaka. At the Airoli bridge, we had chai and then embarked on our journey…Chubby behind me and Nagesh behind Major.
After having missal paav and wada paav’s at Khopoli, we continued towards our destination. We had a photo session break at the Mumbai-Pune expressway at the bifurcation for Lonavala and Khandala and a little ahead we had another break as the scenery was really good. I guess on the left I could see Dukes Nose, below was our return path on the Mumbai Pune Expressway, and ahead lay the mountains of Lonavala. Some monkeys observed us from the distance and as they got closer, we decided it was time to leave. It’s a real pleasure to ride in the mountains inspite of the ups and downs. Lush greenery, clear blue sky, the fresh air are a welcome affair.

At around 8:30 – 9 a.m, we reached Ekveera, Karla Caves after taking a left on the road to Kamshet. It was over crowded and the on the way, the road was filled with drunkards who seemed to have started early or never stopped from the night before. We had difficulty finding a place to park our bikes, but finally we found a spot and allowed our bikes to doze off a bit. We took the road up instead of the stairs to Ekveera. Chubby was on steam as he couldn’t find a place to answer Natures call. Half way up, Chubby’s prayers were answered and after he returned, we continued our way to the top on the stairs. It was really crowded as the place was full of worshippers. We decided en-route that if we stand in line to get a chance to enter the temple, it will get very late; hence we were to take our blessings from outside. The Karla caves in the background of the Ekveera temple is a beautiful site to see. You HAVE to stop and think for a while about the artisans and people who carve these caves out of a mountain and turn them into such grandeur. It was very dark inside the chaitya. The dome shaped stupa and the carvings inside were beautiful. The lion pillar outside was equally a sight. It gives you an amazing feeling to go into restrospect and think about the period when Buddhist followers used to stay and pray in these caves. Near the stupa, we saw a strange sight. People were throwing coins and some kids were behind were fighting to collect them in the darkness with a small torch in their hands. Guys…please preserve the place!! Coming out of the main cave with the stupa, we visited other smaller ones the right side of the Mandir. It is said that (Nagesh Baba said that) in one such cave, if you make a wish and a drop of water falls from the roof, then your wish will definitely be fulfilled by Chitala Devi. We did go to that cave and there was this old woman sitting at the corner of the cave and their was saffron smeared on one end of the cave walls. She asked us to make wishes and prayed for us. Nagesh was the one to make the wish and just when he commented ‘ Lagta hai Devi naraaz hai’ – he was rewarded by a drop of water. So we know for sure, his wish is gonna get fulfilled. We were the unlucky ones, rather paapi ones – no droplets for us. After paying homage and roaming a bit on the top, enjoying the waterfall near the main cave and clicking pics, we started on our descent. Once down, I clicked some pictures of a woman selling hens in a tokri. People buy them as sacrifices to the Devi. While having chai, we decided to skip lunch and get to Tikona Peth, the forts base first as we were already running late and didn’t want to end up riding in the dark. On the way back, the ‘Gataari’ element was in full bloom as we passed ‘fully tuun bewdas’ in the middle of the road. They were completely high and weren’t moving even if brought trucks to their faces. We were looking out for Mr.Wahlekar as he was also in Lonavala with his friends, celebrating Gataari.

From Kamshet, we took a right towards Pawna dam. Riding through villages and muddy roads in between, we got up the ghat to the final ride towards the forts base. We stopped at a spot near a tower….we HAD to…the scenery was completely breathtaking…great…simply great…a sight to treasure…something that no camera can capture…a thing that completely belonged to that moment!!! Beyond the Pawna dam was the Tung fort like a hat kept on the water. Nagesh describes it as a submarine. Tikona fort was also clearly visible. We clicked a lot of photographs with Tung and Tikona in the backgrounds. The climate was also very good with lots of breeze and it wasn’t feeling hot even though it didn’t rain. Clicked lots of photos of my bike. It was the perfect location for the Avenger ad. – Feel like GOD!! After satiating ourselves of the surroundings, we jumped on our bikes for the final destination – Tikona killa. We kept our bikes near the Mandir at the base and started our trek at around 3:00 pm. The initial walk was through muddy sludge and in no time our floaters and legs were submerged in ankle wide mud. We could hear voices coming down the hill and knew we were in the right path, but we did miss a shorter route. Sloshing merrily, after a while the ascent started. The climb was enjoyable and the scenery was simply beautiful. We came across a group of kids with their Sir coming down. It felt good to see children coming for such treks on a Sunday instead of watching movies and playing video games. It seemed we were the last group going up as every one else was getting down. That gave us an idea that we should hurry up, else it would get dark soon and would be difficult getting down. We were accompanied on our way up by 3 sardarjis. On the way up the first cave, we stopped at a small shelter where a ‘mawshi’ was selling tea and pakodas. We settled for tea. There was another cave nearby which was painted red and occupied by a Sadhu Baba and had a pond in front – really nice. The last climb is a bit dangerous and steep, especially in the rain as it gets slippery. Again we came across one or two families and all of us got a chance to give them a helping hand. Reaching the top felt so fulfilling. It was simply beautiful and we got a real blessing from the skies above when we saw a complete RAINBOW. I don’t even remember when was the last time I saw one. It was a panoramic view. We could see the path we came from…the entire region below. We now understood why this was such a strategic location. One thing I noticed and found amusing was that all the temple tops we could see from there looked almost identical. At the summit, there is a small yet beautiful Trimbakeshwar Mandir with a small Nandi bull outside. Below the temple were small pathways heading below - ‘Chor vaats’, which might have been for storage. There is a pond at the top, a little behind the temple and behind the pond, the scenery is again breathtaking. One can see Lohagad from there. The fort was left all to us and the Sardarjis as there was no one else. After our photo session, we started downwards, and after having chai and kanda bhajis at Mawshi’s, we (Major and Nagesh) found the short cut that we had missed and after Majors’ certification that it was relatively safe, we took that route. It was a bit slippery but okay. Chubby fell once on the way down and it was a Kodak moment. His instantaneous reaction was putting his hands up and saying ‘Jai Maharashtra’. We spent a little time at Pawna dam watching the sunset - another sight not to miss.

Heading home, we did what we dreaded i.e. ride at night, and believe me it’s not a very enjoyable experience and is not safe at all. Could hardly see the road ahead of us and with lights blinding your eyes, no street lights, it’s very very difficult to ride, especially in the rains – please avoid. Anyway, after buying chikis and fudges at Lonavala and later having dinner at Malwani's, we were on our way. On the way, at the near the Sion flyover, which we took by mistake, saw a very sorry sight - a decent looking guy, highly intoxicated was walking naked in the middle of the highway. Don’t know what’s happened of him – prayed for him – guys avoid things you can’t handle. We eventually reached Thane at around 12:10 pm. Another expedition came to an end!!

Thanks to Nagesh, Kaushal and Srinath for making it happen as it almost got cancelled. Cheers!! Start planning for the next one….

Kahaani khatam hai, ya shuruat hone ko hai
Subah nayee hai ye, ya raat hone ko hai!!

http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Album?uid=744200405339583243&aid=1281708680

Unexpected

2007-11-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

It rained yesterday....unexpectedly...just like that...aive hi...bas gira to gira...

The sky was gloomy since morning, but hadn't expected it to pour.

For a change, I left office early and planned to catch the 7:04 Thane fast local. It wasn't raining as I walked to VT station.

Fortunately I did catch the 7:04 local, also got a window seat(lucky me!!).The train started at a brisk pace and I tried to put myself to sleep.After about half an hour, my brain suddenly instructed my eyes to open due to the pain in my foot as a result of a semi-giant stepping on it; and after exhanging the usual glares and 'sorry' and 'its ok', I realised that the train was dozing too!! It had hardly crossed 2-3 stations and it was supposed to be a fast(haha) train.

It seemed the signals had failed. Expected!!

Rains unexpected...signals failing due to rains...expected or unexpected??

Seems like our guys are never prepared for anything unexpected

But then are we?? Am I? Are you?

PN: It takes 40 mins to cover the distance from VT to Thane and I was stranded for one and a complete half hour in the train, needless to say with hundreds(exagerating, who me? not at all) of sweaty, frustrated fellow travellers.

Photo courtesy : http://www.newint.org/

Back to School (Pawaskar)

2007-10-26T04:22:00.000-07:00

The human database christened the brain amazes me to the limit. It's idiotically funny how I tend to forget a lot of things but some past impressions are so deeply engraved that the visualizations appear in a crystal clear picture, just the way they happened years ago.

My grandfather (mom's dad) expired when I was upgraded to the 8th standard. I was there in kolkata then and had to extend my usual summer holidays by 2 weeks due to the incident. If most of you remember, 8th standard is when you get to choose between your alternate language in school. Some have an option between Marathi and Sanskrit, and others have French added to this list. We had to opt between Marathi and Sanskrit, the latter being more popular as you could score maximum marks since it was an extremely rattofyable subject.
My being away when school reopened didn't allow me to choose and I was put in the Marathi class, which I somehow felt happy about then and now too.

Our class, in general had also got reshuffled. So the day I entered, I saw some pretty new faces. Some, I knew because we used to meet them on the football ground and had many matches and fights in common. Very soon, I understood that I had moved from one blacklisted class to another one, the magnitude of blackness yet to be measured.

Apart from the new faces, also were friends who were carried forward with me together. Among them was Sonia, one of my very good friends. It so happened that a seat was reserved for me, 2nd last row to the left from the door, 2nd last seat in that row. Quite unrealistic seat for me since I was relatively short then (not that I am extremely tall now). Sonia was seated behind me, the last seat verily assigned to her since she was and still is very near to a 'she giraffe'.

In 15 minutes, she introduced me to the entire class, not literally though!! Ye class D me thi, arre usko pehchaana kya, wo kaafi intelligent hai, isko kuch nahi aata, ye bahut baat karti hai, she has become my good friend...traits were defined and distributed unevenly. I said hello to them in my mind.

The bell rang. Geography text books came out of each bag. If you remember, we had those long and wide geography text books then which refused to fit in our bags.
"Good morning maaam" half standing, half sitting everybody chorused.
"Good morning", round faced, airy attitude, hugging books, chalks in hand, a roundly round bindi, slightly crumpled off white sari, crimson bordered, historically walked in Mrs. Geography (control, control, no names)
"Ye kaun hai", I whispered, talking backwards, looking forwards.
"Mrs. Geography", Sonia answered, "Thodi strict hai, lekin she teaches well"
"Hmmmmm", I said.

As the screeching chalk attacked the childly eardrums and while planets were statically revolving round on the chalkboard universe, Sonia tapped me on the back.
"Woh dekh"
"Kya", I tried to see what she was seeing.
"Udhar, 1st bench pe", she secretly smiled.
"Abe woh to so raha hai"
As we were trying very hard to suppress our tickling stomachs to tickle our esophagus, bending forward, hiding our faces to hide our smirks, we didn't notice the stopping of the chalk screeches. Only when a few innocent (oh come on, not so innocent) heads turned with gesturing eyes claiming us as guilty, did we understand that the geographical universe had closed down on us and somehow a horizontal gravity pulled our faces to face Mrs. Geography as she bore her not so chilly, yet chilly gaze into us.
"STAND UP!!” the lioness roared "What’s so funny?"
Trembling legs, weak knees attempted to stand, stood. "Nothing Mam"
"So you were smiling, laughing for nothing?" sarcasm spoke.
Fortunately or unfortunately the tall Sonia hid behind me.
"Ok out with it, why were you laughing?"
"Nothing Mam...I.err...nothing mam", my vocabulary got restricted.
"Tell me the reason, else I will not continue with the class", she thundered.
Pairs of eyes followed the invisible tennis ball between Mrs. Geography and me. Necks turned this way and then that way.
Silence prevailed indefinitely for a few minutes. My shoes, my canvases were never zoomed in as minutely as they were that very day.
"I am still waiting...the whole class is suffering because of you. LOOK UP, what are you looking down for? Come on, quick, out with it..."
I dared to look up "Maam, actually...."
"Yes I'm, we are listening", she said
"Maam, actually.....Pawas...he he ha ha ha ha", I unknowingly burst out laughing.
Shocked pairs of eyes penetrated me.
"Maam, Pawas was...he he he hey hey hey haa ha ha...” uncontrollably, I burst into fits of laughter.
Mrs. Geography couldn’t believe what was happening, but she stood silently, her raging eyes doing the speaking.
"He he ha ha ha hoo hoo" I was unstoppable and so was the class by now.
"He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha"
"He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo"
The whole class was in splits, in fits. This was getting too much for Mrs. Geography though she was also trying very hard to resist bursting into laughter.
"ENOUGH" she roared "THAT’S ENOUGH. Either you tell me the reason, and now it rather be a good one or I'll throw you out of the class and never take you in. This is the first class of mine you are attending and this is how you behave."

Her words didn't matter anymore, nor did the brutal consequence as I had no hold over myself now.
"Maam, maaam...he he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he"
Finally the lost words found me.
"Maam, actually Pawaskar was sleeping....He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo"
"He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo"
"He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo"
"Haa haa ha ha ha He he ha ha ha He he ha ha ha hoo hoo hoo"
The whole class including Mrs. Geography went berserk.

After some time when we couldn’t laugh anymore and found our voices back, Mrs. Geography spoke, boring her eyes on the now very much awake Pawaskar.
"Well it's Pawaskar who is to blame then...." she smiled "Sit down"

Pawaskar and I were good friends later!!!

Eye of the devil

2007-09-27T06:07:00.001-07:00

This is how my right eye is looking today. Won't be long before my left eye also gets the same tinge.

Suffering from conjunctivitis. Guess must have got it from someone in office:(:(

The Entertainers

2007-09-26T00:29:00.000-07:00

Everybody and anybody today know why MS Dhoni is so good and why he deserves to be a captain. On television, cheap comparisons are being made between why Dravid fails and why Dhoni doesn't. He's got brains, he's a great decision maker, he's young, he's a great achiever, he's got no fear, in short he's being made out to be the future GOD of Indian cricket. I have nothing against Dhoni or Dravid, but against the media who creates a hullabaloo over almost everything, especially some of the stupid Hindi news channels.

Tomorrow, we lose 2 matches, and the same great analyzers will be the first to pinch his butt.

However, this 20-20 world cup has brought me back to the game.... watching it, I mean, in fact the last 3 matches against Pakistan, Australia and Pakistan again. No matter, which players form a part of the team, or whom they are playing against; the Indian team was and will always be the best entertainers. Everyone who has watched this series must have observed that in every game we were almost winning with a ball-run difference of 30-35, then 1 bad over and we are on the verge of losing it all, then 1 wicket and we are back, then 1 six and all our faces are hung, a cheeky shot and a catch and we are holding the world cup...a person with a weak heart should never watch India's matches, particularly the one's against Pakistan. India definitely has dug out a lot of young and hidden talent in the form of Gambhir, Rohit Sharma, RP Singh and Shreesanth. The best part of the matches was to see the boys all geared up and the always-missing killer instinct was evident this time around. Way to go Dhoni, Yuvraj and team.... happy winning!!!

I saw the finals in my office. Earlier in the day, below my office I saw a couple of firangs with small dhols/bongo's on their shoulders. I wanted to ask them where they bought it from coz I wanted one too for my bhanja. Luck smiled as we went down to feast on 'bhel and chai' after India's batting when a couple of guys were passing by with those dhols on their shoulders. So bought one, and my friends and me were beating it to pulp with the fall of every Pakistani wicket!! Chak de India!!!

just pissed off

2007-09-22T13:03:00.000-07:00

"The more importance you give someone, the more you are taken for granted and the more you are given that airy attitude. You wish to choose life and it runs afar. The clue, i guess is to divert and find happiness in other means, forms and channels, especially when you know you are screwed...."

Utsab - The festival

2007-09-21T00:12:00.001-07:00

As I watched 'Utsab' yet again, thought of writing my first movie review about this beautiful piece of art and emotions.

'Chokher Bali' was the movie that made me fall in love with Rituparno Ghosh's works. He embodies meticulous direction and portrays perfectly the panoramic nuances of characters, giving life to their emotions, gloriously shouting out the hidden, intricate feelings; the implicit readings between life's complex paragraphs.

Too many characters yet so distinguishably and admirably defined. 'Utsab' revolves round a family who have got together to celebrate 'Durga Puja', maybe for the last time in their 'pushtaani' house, which they have plans to sell out. The family has come together to enjoy the togetherness, but somehow the threads of their lives are so entangled in the complexities of life that their problems seems to weigh more than their happiness, as it almost always does. The family includes an old mother, 2 married sons with their own kids, 2 married daughters, none of them being actually happy in their lives.

Every character has their own problems, but painstakingly they move ahead and have adapted to them, or at least they try. The togetherness gives them an outlet to their individual frustrations because they know they are going to be heard, by someone at the least. The younger son has almost lost his job due to a strike and lockout in his company. He thinks his wife has no idea about it, but she is well aware of the turmoil that her husband is going through, but prefers silence in spite of she being the most straightforward person in the family. The younger daughter is going through a disturbed marriage, which is on the verge of a separation. The elder daughter too has a disturbed marriage, her old love being the reason for the weathered waters. Against her wishes, she has been married off by her family to a rich guy, her love for her poor cousin lost and embedded in her heart. Her husband taunts her regularly on the issue though she has left the episode much behind in her life. She is under the impression that her grown up son has no idea about the subject of their fights, though he very well is!! And to top it, he also is all set to tread on the same path his mother had put foot on. He is inclined towards the beautiful Shompa (his cousin and daughter of the eldest son in the movie).

The cinematography of the entire movie is just too good!! Everything in this movie presents a typical Kolkata's Bengali family, so if you wish to get a taste or small glimpse of the Bengali culture, this should movie is recommended for you.

Favourite scenes from the movie:
** The very first scene where the grandson is asking the shilpkar about the idols of ganesha and kartika.
** The brothers smoking together and the elder one asking the younger 'but you used to smoke a videshi brand, right??'
** Ashtami pooja scene
** Elder daughters confrontation with her past affair.
** Shompa's walk in the corridor with the tokri of flowers(what a beautiful girl...what a beautiful face....) and her grandma and father in general conversation.
** Shompa's song 'Amolo dhobolo'(her face is dipped in typical beautiful 'bong'ness)
** The vegetable cutting scene between the 2 daughters and elder bhabhi.

PN: If anybody has any other references of Arpita Pal (Shompa) in the movie, pleeease feel free to share. Hunted on the net, but all I could gather was 2 pics and 1-2 other movies she's acted in.

Insanity

2007-09-10T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
I always carry an umbrella, let it or let it not rain

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Coz I always complain

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Coz I know how to hide my pain

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
I know kids always need the cane

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Through life’s miseries, happiness I feign

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
I don’t bother to argue but still wanna fit in the ostentatious frame

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
The numb monster inside, I have learnt how to tame

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
I don’t raise my voice, I’m sure everybody else is to blame

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
I’ll lick anybody’s boots to gain fame however plain

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Cornered in the crowd, I don’t feel the shame

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Tumultuous desire of love, I’m just a watcher never a player of the game

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
As I wear no soul, dressed naked in bane

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Coz I enjoy it alone on the windy parapet, as thoughts, emotions slowly drain

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
In the midst of friends too, I look out for a gain

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
As heinous imaginations travel the lengths of the brain train

Yeah I’m safe, I’m sane
Can’t shed a tear on the grave, I smile, is that lame?

Mama, I’ve killed my conscience,
I’ve killed it yet again, left everybody behind on the long lost lane
Coz I wanna be safe, yeah I wanna be sane….

Confessions of a dream

2007-08-30T04:35:00.000-07:00

Time: 7pm in the evening
Location: Home (Just entered)
Conditions: Cloudy August sky, heavy downpour expected anytime
"Hey champ, whassup?? You look like somebody slapped you".
"Nothing chachu"
"nothing...hmmm, ok, lets go for a ride"
"no chachu, don't feel like it"
"But I do!!so get your ass moving"
"no chachu, have to complete my journal. Submissions tomorrow and anyway it's gonna rain"
"Do you think I care, now are you coming or do I need to drag you..."

Time: 7:30 pm
Location: Riding with the wind, feeling like God on my Blue Avenger
Conditions: No rains, but no clear sky either
"where are we going chachu"
"On a dark desrt highway, cool wind in my head, warm smell of colitus, rising up through the air..."
"chachu, where are we going"
"tu hi meri shab hai, tu hi meri duniya......"
"CHACHU!!!!!!!"
"oye hold on bache, upvan jaa rahe hain....aa chal ke tujhe mai leke chalu ek aise gagan ke tale...jahan gum bhi na ho, aasoon bhi na ho, bas pyaar hi pyaar pale...."
(for those who don't know where upvan is; it is a lake in Thane(Maharashtra) where couples used to coochie coo...but the government's making ample arrangements to kill the love from the love birds and turn it into a family park)

Time: 8pm
Location : Bike parked, sitting in Upvan
Conditions : Still not raining
I remember, Upvan is a place where Jayesh and me had many head-on conversations, arguments, cribbing, laughing, relenting about love, life, girls, career, family, tensions....everything, almost everything. Sometimes Abhya would also join us. We used to spend hours and hours there. It was one of our favourite adda in Thane. But this was different. Those were our days. Now theirs!!!

"So champ, what's happening in college"
"Usual stuff chachu"
"and what does usual mean"
"lectures, canteen, bunking, movies, journals...usual stuff chachu...usual stuff"
"and hows ur guitar classes going on"
"not much chachu...still stuck on the same old chords...still the same problems in chord shifting"
"highway star kabhi bajaake sunaa raha hai"
"highway star...haha...abhi tak to gulli star bhi nahi bajaa paata hu"
"so did you propose to her"
"what???"
"what did she say"
"what are you talking about chachu"
"naa bola kya"
with stealing eyes "chachu, are you ok...can't understand what you are saying"
"it's ok yaar, since when did you start hiding things from me...we are friends, aren't we"

A long silence prevails as it starts to drizzle. I give him time and he takes it. The tension on his face resembles the same when I opened up my bike for the first time and then didn't know how to re-assemble it. The confusion of "to tell or not to tell" is dominant. More dominant is the heavy task of "how to tell". Finally, he gathers himself up to look at me. He looks at
me for a moment and then shifts his gaze. The heaviness on his heart shows.

"Chachu..."
"I'm listening stud, go ahead"
"Chachu, there is this girl in college. She's in my class and we are friends, atleast we were till now"
"Girl? or beautiful girl?"
"Very beautiful girl"
"What's her name?"
"Arpita"
"ok"
"It sounds foolish chachu, you'r gonna laugh"
"If you are telling me a joke, I'll laugh unless it's a bad one, else I don't have reason to"
"Bhaad me gaya, I'll tell you chachu. I started interacting with Arpita long after I actually met her, rather got introduced to her. By chance, we were in the same group during practicals. You know how shy I am with girls. I used to speak to her only when required. She, on the other hand is a very friendly and extrovert kind of a girl. We started chatting, cracking jokes and all. Infact she's got a terrific sense of humor. We started calling each other pretty often. She started calling me after college hours also. Sometimes, study related, other times just to chat. We talked about movies, her family, our family, anything.... She knows you pretty well by now chachu though you two haven't met each other."
"So you guys discuss me haan? Nothing more interesting to discuss??"
"Chachu, I like speaking to her. I started missing her calls when she went with her family on a holiday. I don't know when or how it happened, but it did. I started acting funny. I just couldn't concentrate on anything. She just occupied my mind completely. I couldn't understand what was happening. I didn't tell my friends, cause anyway they always tease make faces when we'r around. Infact, i was gonna tell you, but something somehow stopped me. I thought, i thought you would be amused, you would think it was a faaltu and amateurish thing to discuss"
"Nothing in life is not worth discussing, atleast that's the way I considered it was between you and me"
"Sorry chachu, but...."
"No problem, carry on"
"Chachu, I have never felt like this before. I knew I was in love. I didn't have the guts to tell her that. Once those shitty things came to my head, everything changed. The way I looked at her changed, the way I spoke to her changed. She marked the change in me, but she couldn't read my thoughts. She used to ask me 'why have you become so serious all of a sudden'. Earlier
we used to chat comfortably about anything and everything, but now I started asking irrelevant questions to her, which later I understood were very foolish. I missed her humor, i gave stupid answers, I lost control chachu, i just lost my mind"
"And all this time you kept it to yourself. That's the worst thing to do son. You should have blurted it out to somebody, if not me"
"No chachu, you were the only one I should have told, but I didn't. I knew she would drift if I kept acting weird like this. I knew I was hurting myself, was making myself miserable. I just didn't want to lose her, but that's exactly what I did, i guess."
"Did you try telling, explaining, expressing your feelings"
"Many times chachu, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. Every night I used to make plans, sketch out exactly how, where and when to make the execution. I used to prepare myself"
"And in the morning, whenever you confronted her, you turned cold, froze, ins't it?"
"Yes chachu, yes. How do you know? I just couldn't tell her anything. She used to get confused at what I was doing. She couldn't comprehend anything. She asked me if anything was wrong, and I always shook my head. I could make out that she's getting pissed off at my weird antics, but couldn't do anything about it"
"hmmmm"
"Chachu, I think I'm pakaoing you. To cut it short, I envisaged that I couldn't blurt it out to her, so I wrote a long letter pouring all my feelings in it. I'll show it to you when we go home."
"Same old story...then? did you give it to her?"
"Yes, one fine day, I developed the guts to atleast do that. After classes, when we were coming back home, I gave it to her and asked her to read and reply. She asked me what it was. I just asked her to read it and left."
"Great going champ!! The result?"
"The result was bad chachu, very bad. I didn't go to college the next day. You remember I was down with fever"
"Yes I do"
"The next day I went to college, I tried avoiding her. More than her, I was avoiding a 'NO'. Somehow, she walked up to me. I looked into her eyes. She looked frightening. Her eyes were red. I could tell that she had been crying...for two days!!! For seconds she just glared at me with those bloody eyes, I couldn't say a word, not even 'hi'. She took out a letter from her bag. I recognised it was mine. She tore it right before my eyes chachu and then she said 'I didn't expect this from you, please don't try to talk to me again. She walked away and I just stood there like a stone"
"Hey champ, you should have.........."

Ka..Ka..Ka..Ka...somebody was patting me on the back. My sleepy eyes recognised that it was
my nephew. My nephew, whom I was already with, a few minutes back. My nephew, I remembered was less than 2 years old.I suddenly realised I was dreaming as he turned me into a horse and rode on my back.It felt funny to be dragged into the present when you were having such a lively discussion in the future. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have such vivid discussions between 2 generations, inspite of the gap.........looking forward to it dabloo!!"

PS: Good that the dream, the conversation ended where it did, else I would have given my precious romantic advice, which would enrage some people as they think I'm the most unromantic fellow on this earth!!

F and F

2007-08-17T07:49:00.000-07:00

Its really funny how small incidents can trigger inexplicable thoughts and lead you to a completely glorified cogitation.

Today I was playing with my nephew, Sahil, just 1 and a half year old. I made him burst into peals of laughter with my stupid antics...it doesn't take much to make a child laugh. He, in turn, made me smile...a word to treasure!

All of a sudden, he started hitting me....for no reason at all...he slapped me thrice before me getting my face away from him. And what did I do? I just picked him up and pecked him on the cheek. That's that, nothing more , nothing less...

Later, when the whimsical incident just breezed my insomniac thoughts, I wondered....there was no ire, no repentance, no sorry's, no forgiveness...nothing..no expectations...WHY? Was he expected to do that, and was I expected to react the way I did?

Juxtaposing the incident on the broad palette of life and everyday happenings, if a similar or milder experience met me in the overcrowded mumbai locals....

For those who are not aware of the mumbai locals(trains, lifeline of mumbai), it's the daily dose that the city has prescribed to us. We just can't live without them. Fighting a battle in Kurukshetra would have been much easier than to get in a crowded train, i suppose....a little exaggerated you say...i say, just a little!! Your nasal senses are filled up by the invigorating mixture of various sweaty smells as you hang on to your dear life, balancing on your left foot while the right one is rightly entangled somewhere....where...you don't care....as long as the limb is still attached to your torso.

Coming back to the original source of digression, a gentle shove in these overcrowded locals can sometimes lead to the biggest of fights...and could bring up your mom, dad and many others who are not physically present at the site...in the form of abuses you must have guessed. Thinking about it, we have just forgotten to forget and forgive....or did we have that in us, anytime at all?? Unlike a child, who fights and patches up the next minute to smile at you and draw attention no matter how hard you got on him earlier.

Is it so hard to overlook, to go beyond the usual and stay calm...
Is it so difficult to be ignorant of the little sufferance and let it pass, considering the fact that you may never see or hear from the pain causer again....
Is it so painful to adjust, when you are aware that you have to live in this very life with the very set of people we call family and friends.....
Is it so tormenting to forget yourself for a moment and look at the world from somebody else's eyes.....

EASIER SAID THAN DONE.......

Wish we were children yaar...wish we were!! No shame, no blame, laughing, crying, enjoying!! Drawing attention no matter what we do, with the silliest antics, with the cutest pranks.

Every time I see my nephew, he makes me smile....I feel like cuddling with him, holding him tight!! Wish I could trip over my apprehensions and put a brake to my reservations and feel the same about the rest of the world....wishful thinking!!!

Stranger

2007-08-14T02:46:00.000-07:00

Strange things happen, strange things do...
beyond the dark angry rains, the sky's actually blue....

met a stranger in a strange city
in this city, didn't know, i would sign a treaty...

she did, i did, we spoke as the clock ticked...
don't know when or how or why we clicked....
destiny yet again played its game....
as our apprehensions were brought to shame...

we'll dream, we'll share, we'll love, we'll fight,
through life's turbulent waves, we need to hold our hands tight,
trust persisting, beyond the hype,
lets make animated happiness of our everyday life....

dissapearing rains on a disappearing novemeber,
will certainly be a date we'r gonna remember....

strange things happen...strange things do..
now of all people, its me and you...
and the story begins thus...
with you and me being US!!

Missing You

2007-08-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

A small, silly poem written for a friend to be presented to his girlfriend during my post graduation days. Was never used, so putting it here since there's not much to put here anyway as my hard disk has crashed and all my stuff has been lost.....forever.....

Out there on the mountain top,
Standing alone, thoughts circling,
The clouds strayed by, the wind blew hard...
The sky grew a distant fading.....

The Sun just made a disappearing act,
Leaving me alone pondering in the darkness,
My mind just couldn't erase a thought,
Cudn't make out what it was all about......

Then the moon lit up,
Illuminating the sky....
Clear thoughts began to surface by.....

The moon was you, so close to me...
It was you I was missing in every heartbeat

Naked

2007-06-03T04:54:00.000-07:00

Show me all your joys,
Show me all your pains,
Tell me all that you’ve lost
And tell me all that you can gain

What are you tryin to hide,
Let me see, oh it’s that cruel mind,
Who are you tryin to be,
Father, son, saint or creep,

It’s time you walked on that old and forgotten lane,
It’s time you be naked again. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You look so clean naked,
Naked is what you should be. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Ragged and withered are your clothes of desire,
Take all the angst and jealousy
And set em on fire,
Your hair stinks of your proud glory,
Just notice the million times in your life that you’ve felt sorry,
Your eyes are sunk in the dark pits of greed,
Will you ever be satisfied with all your wants and needs. . . . . . .

Take all the lust and throw it down the drain,
Don’t you think it’s time you be naked again,It really is time you be naked again. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .